Okay kids, gather 'round, time for another edition of the Friday Five. I'd also like to say "welcome" to all of the new people who've wandered by here this week, you are a fascinating bunch.
This week's Friday Five is....
The Five Stupidest Things Ever Said to Me (counting down, in order)
5. "Hey, let's move to Alabama."
This was said to me by an ex-boyfriend whom I thought I was going to marry. We were going to school at Western Michigan at the time, and I think the snow was getting to him. So I moved to Alabama, but he changed his mind, both about being married and moving to Alabama. I've since forgiven him...mostly.
4. "I think you've got an ear infection."
This was said to me by my family doctor in Charleston, when I went in complaining of nausea three weeks after my honeymoon. The diagnoses was based a negative pregnancy test in the office and some "redness" in my inner ear, as he called it. At the time, I was wearing headphones for four to five hours per day. Oh, and my home pregnancy test was positive.
3. "C'mon, just try and work with guy."
This was said to me by my manager at a radio station a while back. I'd been put on a morning show with the original host who didn't want a co-host and made it plain to anyone who asked. He didn't want me there, and after working with him for a bit, I didn't want to be there, either. To be fair, we had differing ideas of what my role should be, but even after management sided with me, he held firm. It ended in an ugly way, but I kept my job, at least for a while.
2. "If you use anything other than **NAME BRAND** cream on your nipples while breastfeeding, you will poison your child."
This was said to me by a nurse I affectionately named "The Boobie Nazi". The Boobie Nazi was the teacher of my breastfeeding class. She showed films that bordered on soft core porn (no I'm not a prude, even my husband was uncomfortable). She also lied to me about using this "special brand" of lanolin cream to help prevent chapping. I'm allergic to lanolin. I panicked my way through the rest of pregnancy, until a nice lactation consultant in the hospital where I gave birth confirmed my suspicions that The Boobie Nazi was stupid. She said "Oh, I know her. She's an idiot, really." And then the nice lady gave me some vitamin E capsules, and told me to feed my kid.
1. "There will be some minor discomfort."
This from every gynaecologist holding a speculum.
Okay, that's it. You can list yours in the comment section. Have a lovely weekend everyone!
PS I just found out my friend taqdeer is getting married and will no longer be blogging for my amusement. taqdeer, I've really enjoyed reading your blog and your comments here. You were one of my very first readers and you will be missed more than you know. Congratulations on your wedding, and may you and your bride have a beautiful and fruitful life together. Y'all go on over to his blog desertscape and offer your congrats to him before he vanishes for good.
