Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Greetings from the Land of the Midnight Dairy

That's not a song title, but it damn well should be...

Who was I to think I'd have more time to blog after the arrival of Baby J? Some of my fears have been realized with the fact that she is a night owl, just as she was in the womb. Since Ray gets up at 3 a.m. for work, I can't really ask him to pull an all nighter with the baby. That, and he's lacking some of the necessary equipment required to care for Baby J at this point as well.

What this means, is that I've been watching a lot of late night television, something I haven't done since TFYO was an infant, who also liked to stay up all night and nurse for hours on end. It's been putting questions in my head.

Like, when did Conan O'Brien's hair get so big? Is he purposely brushing it higher to compliment that huge forehead?

When did Craig Ferguson become funnier than anyone else on late night TV?

And when did they start a series called "The History of Sex" on the History Channel?

Is Billy Mays really a person, or an animatronic doll?

And that guy that does the Sham-Wow commercials, why is he so damn angry?

Why would anyone need to have a Matlock marathon at 3 a.m., especially when the target demographic for the show is in bed by 8 p.m.?

And who thought an infomercial on colon cleansing was a good idea? Especially with detailed pictures?

I know it seems like these are frivolous questions, but when you've been subsisting on three hours of broken sleep per day, they take on an ominous tone. By the time Baby J settles down at 5:30 in the morning, I can't help but wonder if I have enough cleaning power in my vacuum, if my teeth are white enough, and if an onion chopper has a place in my kitchen.

But wait, there's more!

Actually, there's not. I've always just wanted to say that.


WT said...

Speaking of questions, how long has Treat Williams been working for Sandstrom?

Mahala said...

"When did Craig Ferguson become funnier than anyone else on late night TV?"

He always was, it just took a while for the world to find out lol.

Kaycie said...

I have to disagree with mahala. Craig Ferguson was so NOT funny for the first year or so. But he improved and he just keeps getting better and better. I fell in love with him years ago and would be moving to the coast to stalk him if it weren't for my bothersome husband and children.

I remember those days so well. Sitting up late in the dark, nursing, and trying to find something to watch that doesn't either creep me out or try to sell me something.

Actually, I'm sort of there again, up until all hours waiting for a teenager to come in for the night after work or play practice or a movie or a date . . . you only get to sleep for a few years before the late nights catch up with you again.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

I once watched hours of a Brady Bunch marathon in Spanish because one of my kids had fallen asleep nursing and I was afraid to move and wake them up. I, of course, was wide awake for no reason whatsoever.

Ahh...good times.

Leendaluu said...

Oh, I feel your pain. The twins would NEVER sleep nor nurse at the same time so I really was up 24/7

laurie said...

i can only imagine how tired you are.

and craig ferguson is the best!

my two cents said...

I am usually in bed waaay before late night so I have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you should put in a dvd when you begin nursing. At least you would like what you are watching. You sound good!

thegrandview said...

Honestly, I have been "Tivoing" Craig Ferguson since he started that show. His 10 minute monologue is the funniest (by far) thing on television. Christine can always tell when I am watching it because I am by myself laughing hysterically. Watch him in a movie called the "Big Tease". He plays a gay Scottish hairdresser coming to America for a competition. He's out of his mind, really.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Miss M was like that. Her clock will come right in the end, and think what you'd have missed if she nursed at reasonable hours. ;)

Mya said...

I remember Craig Ferguson when he used to appear in lowly British stand-up shows. He certainly seems to have fallen on his feet in the US. I'm not sure anyone remembers who he is in the UK - although I might be out of touch there, with not actually living there anymore!
I need to know what Show Wow is, my mind is boggling. But I don't need any more info on the colonic cleansing, thankyou - certainly not pictures, anyway.
Breast feeding is so fab - I loved it, even staying up all night. My trouble was weaning him off - it took a long long long time...
Mya x

Mya said...

I've just re-read my comment and perhaps I could have been a bit more sympathetic...! It will pass, as all these baby phases do - and you shall look back on those early-hour feeding sessions with enormous affection.

Mya x

Maureen said...

Hahahaha! That Sham-Wow guy bugs the heck outta me.... he acts like some kind of snake oil salesman. Why, oh why does he need that stupid microphone??? You're ON TV! Doh!

PixelPi said...

I've asked myself about Billy Mays...he annoys me to death. And the Sham-Wow commercials are horrible too.

At least you're having some fun while nursing and bonding with Sweet Baby J, though I hope you're getting some sleep during the day.

PS I think it's awful that you have to go back to work so soon. What ever happened to a 6-week maternity leave?