Friday Five

Yea! I posted a Friday Five!

It's pouring down rain here today, which of course makes me think of springtime. I apologize to my northern readers for today's list. I'm really not trying to rub in your faces that it's still snowing up there, and so balmy down here. Really. Don't hate me. And don't send your cold, chilly weather down here, either.

I moved to the South primarily because I fell in love with springtime. My first time to the south was in early March of 1996. I went on a road trip with a boyfriend that took us through Alabama on our way to New Orleans. As we drove through Tuscaloosa, all the cherry trees, dogwoods and azaleas were just bursting forth with colour. It was a stark contrast to Kalamazoo, Michigan, where there were two feet of snow on the ground, and we'd just left a howling winter storm. I was instantly smitten. I moved a few months later and never looked back.

Even though it's only February, spring has already sprung in many places across the south, including Savannah. The daffodils have already begun to bloom, and some of the azaleas have too. So, today's Friday Five...

Five Reasons I Love Springtime in Savannah

1. Azaleas

They are everywhere, and I mean everywhere, down here. I even have a couple of scraggly looking little plants outside my house, although I doubt they're going to bloom. As I was driving to work yesterday, I notices that some of the older plants have already started putting forth those gorgeous pink, red and white blossoms. It's marvelous to think that while there's four feet of snow on the ground in parts of Ontario, the high today is going to be 67, and the azaleas are already blooming. If you ever visit Savannah, try to do it in the spring. The mounds of azaleas on every corner downtown will blow you away. By the way, if you come in January or February, you can see the camellias. They actually bloom in late winter. The picture is of Our Lady of Confidence Monastery here in Savannah. It shows how lovely the azaleas look against the Spanish Moss hanging from the oak trees.

2. Rain

It usually rains a lot here, and I do love it. I love the sound of it hitting the roof, I love the way everything turns green and lush after a rainfall, even in the winter. It also means I don't have to water my lawn all that much, and it still looks decent. Springtime is often the rainy season here, and it helps us grow all these great plants. That, and rainy afternoons encourage me to curl up with a cup of tea and a book on the sofa with the cats and TFYO. Any excuse, as far as I'm concerned. Here is a very short video of this morning's rain, taken from my back door. Excuse the construction debris, they're still building behind us. And yes, I know, I have no grass in my backyard.

3. Crickets

You can tell it's spring here, because we're seeing more animals and insects out and about, especially the crickets. I got to hear crickets for the first time in months a couple of nights ago. I was so excited. I wasn't so excited to find one in the kitchen, and even less excited when the cats couldn't be bothered to kill it for me. But I do like listening to them at night. It reminds me that those mild evenings spent on the porch are right around the corner. And it's a much nicer sound than ATVs through my backyard.

4. Green

Winter is short here, and relatively mild. There's actually quite a few deciduous plants that stay green here right the way through, like the live oak. But when spring comes, huge carpets of green seem to pop up overnight in farmers' fields, along roadsides, pretty much anywhere you look. It's almost as if all that green is waiting just below the surface for a good rain to wash away the dirt and let it emerge.

5. No jackets required

I bought a winter coat this past November, and I'm not really sure why. Oh, I got to use it a few times, mostly around Christmas. But now, I rarely need more than a sweatshirt and a rain coat. Usually, I'm just wearing a t-shirt. Several people I work with are from Michigan (small world, y'know?), and half of them wear short sleeves right the way through the winter. One guy wears shorts and a t-shirt everyday. Granted, the natives look at us without coats and think we're nuts, but who cares? It's mild, the breeze is soft, the flowers are blooming. Who wants to bundle up at a time like this?

Well, that's my five. For those who don't live in the South, give me five reasons you love spring where you live. Or if you hate spring, tell me why, you curmudgeons!

Friday Five

Last week's Friday Five was gobbled up by temporal rift. No, really. It swallowed me, too. Fortunately, we here in Georgia managed to seal the rift and rescue the Friday Five for your reading pleasure.


Five Things I've Learned from Science Fiction


1. Your twin in an alternate universe is infinitely cooler than you.

They dress better than you, they get more time with the opposite sex, and they very rarely ever had breakouts as a teenager. They're also likely to sport a short, pointy beard.

2. Men who write sci-fi are obsessed with triple breasted women.

I'm not really sure why this is. You'd think that extra one would just get in the way. And why three, guys? Why not an even number? Or maybe that would just make us look more like cows. For more proof on my theory about men and triple-breasted women, please see Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six from Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. And after doing a GIS for this, I decided not to post any of the pictures I came across. You can do your OWN image search if a picture is that important to you.

3. Dead doesn't always mean dead.

Especially if you're a popular character. See Spock in Star Trek II (he came back to life in number III), Dr. Elizabeth Weir in Stargate Atlantis, and a host of other folks. You might get blown to pieces, destroyed with an exploding planet, shipped to a different universe or lost in a transporter beam, but somehow, someway, some enterprising scientist will figure out a way to put you back together.

4. Food doesn't sound as good in the future.

I'm sure they have gourmet chefs. But every show I've seen and every book I've read has people eating food made from machines, either with replicated DNA or dried up bits reconstituted into some kind of edible material. Shoot, in Firefly they were lucky to get dried up space rations half the time. In one of Douglas Adams's books, The Restaurant at the End of The Universe, there was a cow that would commit suicide for you so you could have a steak. In the movie Demolition Man, the only restaurant left was Taco Bell. I fear for my food in the future. The picture is from this article on futuristic food, photo courtesy of Stephen Orlick and Homaro Cantu. If you're wondering what it is, it's a maki roll, printed with edible flavoured ink on an ink-jet printer. It's an edible picture of sushi. Yeah, that's what I said.

5. The future is either really great, or it really sucks.

This depends on who you read. With Orwell, Phillip K. Dick, and the show Firefly, the future doesn't neccessarily look so good. We've wiped ourselves out with wars, we've become desensitized to our surroundings, we've lost our freedoms, we've widened the gap between wealthy and poor. But, if you watch Star Trek or read some Arthur C. Clarke, it doesn't look too bad. Sure, there's conflict, but everyone is fed and housed, and great scientific leaps are being made. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Well, that's this week's Friday Five, have a good weekend y'all. Since I don't have to work tomorrow, I think I'll be working on sleep instead!

Friday Five

We have a lot of transplants that move from up north down here to the south. Everybody talks about how different it is, and there a quite a few southerners who wish some of the "Yankees" would go home. The northerners think the southerners are backwards hicks, the southerners think the northerners should shut the hell up and go home if they don't like it here.

But I got to thinking (as I have a tendency to do), and the truth is, things are very much the same down here as they are up there. You just have to do a comparison.

Five Things that are The Same Up North as Down South

1. Grandmas/Nanas spoil their grandchildren with sweets.

Granted, the sweets may be different. Down here we get red velvet cake and banana pudding, up north it was more likely to be apple pie and chocolate chip cookies. But the motivation is the same. There is always some grandparent pushing treats on their grandkids, "just because". That may be a universal thing, of course. Omas, Grannies, and Nanas like to feed people no matter where they're from.

2. Football

It's a bit more of a religion down here, and pro-football usually tops college football up north, but either way, there is a rabid contingent of body-painting fools on both sides of the Mason-Dixon line. I, personally, don't care for the sport, although I'm beginning to at least understand the rules a bit more thanks to my husband.

3. Everybody bitches about their local politicians

This is also universal. There is always someone complaining that their taxes are too high (even when they aren't as high as up north, or in the city, or wherever), that the government doesn't do enough/does too much, or that everyone in office is incompetent. I think I'm noticing it a bit more since it's an election year, but it seems to hold water both up north and down south. Our politicians down here are just a bit more likely to wear seersucker suits and bow ties. Otherwise, it's pretty much the same.

4. Rednecks

I used to think this was just a southern thing, but if you go driving around rural Michigan, you will see almost as many Confederate flag bumper stickers as you do driving rural roads down here. A guy I used to work with wrote a great book about this, Redneck Nation, by Michael Graham. Now, I don't always hold with all of Michael's opinions, but he makes a few good points in the book. The truth is, I think the term "redneck" (and it is derogatory), really applies to anyone who fits this definition. Some folks wear it with a mark of pride. It's really not a southern thing anymore, you can find them everywhere. And I know it's not because so many southerners are moving up north. Either this is a universal human trait, or northerners are taking the culture back with them. I have not included pictures here, because I think you'd have more fun Googling the images for yourself.

5. Everybody drives like a**holes

And you know this is true. I think, deep down in our hearts, we all think we're pretty good drivers, even though we know our neighbours are not. Each area has it's own little quirks. Up north, people get mad if you don't drive 80 mph in the right hand lane. Down here, people block two-way traffic in order to have a conversation at a stop light that's turned green. We never do those things, of course, it's everyone else. But you find these people all the way up and down the country. I have the benefit of living near a major north-south corridor, Interstate 95. It's one of the main arteries from New York down to Florida, and I've seen every type of license plate and every type of driver come through here. And most of them drove too slow, drove too fast, changed lanes without signalling, or drove erratically. And I'm sure they said the same thing about me.

Okay, those are my five. You see, we're not so different after all. So what if we eat grits down here, and you all eat...well, whatever it is northerners eat for breakfast (oatmeal? cream o'wheat?). Yeah, we've got houses and cars up on blocks in a few of our neighbourhoods, but I imagine you can find that up north, too.

Have a lovely weekend, y'all.

Friday Five

Everybody is talking about making resolutions this time of year, and I will be, too. But I'm tired of making promises I very rarely ever get to keep, either through my own stupidity or by circumstance. So, this Friday Five will be anti-resolutions.




Five Things I Will NEVER Resolve to Do

1. I will never resolve to be nicer to people.

Seriously, I'm nice enough already. To the point that I never quibble when asked to fill in for someone at the last minute, or gripe at the stupid woman with 30 items in the 12 item check-out lane, or lash out at the rotten little brats who think it's funny to throw things at passing cars. Screw 'em. They don't need me to be nice to them. Half the people in the world don't deserve my niceness, the other half already know I like them.

2. I will never, ever resolve to give up chocolate.

I can't. I gave up excessive drinking. I gave up smoking. I'll eat salads all damn day if you ask me to. But I am never going to give up a nice piece of dark Dagoba chocolate. Pry it from my cold dead hands if necessary. If I had to choose between a limb and chocolate, I might go with chocolate.

3. I will never resolve to get to a certain weight again.

It doesn't work. I know I should have goals, but setting one this specific is self-defeating. I can resolve to eat more healthy, but to do it to get to a certain weight/dress size is silly. Eating better and being more healthy overall is much more important than fitting into a size six (something I haven't done since I met my husband, so I shall lay the blame for my copious weight gain at his feet).

4. I will never resolve to spend more time at work.

Fortunately for me, I have a built in excuse coming up in just a few more months. I love the people I work with, but spending a bit more time at home over the holidays has spoiled me for wanting to be here instead of there. It might be the pregnancy, and the whole nesting instinct, but I keep finding things I want to do around here. Paint the living room, add a chair rail, plant a veggie garden this spring. Nope, I'm never going to want to spend more time at work, no matter how good it is for my career. Screw my career.

5. I will never resolve to be kinder to animals.

Now before y'all freak out, it's because I can't be any kinder to them. I feed strays, I'm nice to the neighbourhood dogs (and their owners!) even when they're out running free, I wait for squirrels and ducks and buzzards to cross the street (even when people in their cars behind me get pissed), and I always try to find the owners of wandering animals. So, I really can't be any more kinder to animals than I already am. Just can't do it. Except for frogs. Ray ran over another one of the poor little buggers a couple of days ago. But they're really hard to see when they're snuggled up to the tires at 4 a.m. (which is when Ray goes to work). So, apologies to the frogs.

Those are my five anti-resolutions, let's hear yours. I'm sure you've already decided what you are going to do this year, I want to know what you won't ever do!

Friday Five...a little late

Yeah, yeah. You heard me. Late. Tough.

Five Wishes for Christmas

1. Stability in my life.

I've moved around a lot in my life. I've lived in five different cities since 2000. But I have reason to believe things are going to change in 2008. For the first time, I finally really feel settled somewhere, and I have no intention of leaving. Ray is happy in his work, we're comfortable in our little house, and I don't see us going anywhere. So, here's wishing for a stable, uneventful year to come.

2. A healthy baby.

I have no indications that she will be anything but a healthy baby, but I am the worrying type, and we still have a few more months to go. Anything could happen. And it probably won't. But here's wishing for a healthy baby girl, anyway.

3. World Peace

Yeah, it's a cliche. Doesn't mean I can't wish for it.

4. That Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons would stop coming to my door on Saturday mornings.

I know y'all are doing what you think is best, really, but you're not going to change my views on religion. I can stand at my door and argue theology all day with you, but neither of us will be happy. So, this holiday season, how about a little Peace on My Doorstep?

5. A Red Ryder BB Gun

Not really. I've just always wanted to say that. Of course, if you've never seen a Christmas Story, you won't get that. "You'll shoot your eye out!"

And here's also wishing all of you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Friday Five

At least I haven't forgotten what Fridays are for around here. It's also much easier to remember a title, too.

The weather has finally turned chilly here this week. We've had lows around freezing and frost on the grass and the cars each morning, and I absolutely love it. There are people who say you don't really get much of a change of seasons this far south, but it's really not true. Our maples are scarlet, and the oaks are turning a lovely golden colour. Maybe I just notice them more since they're mixed in with the pine trees. Either way, it's finally starting to feel like fall, even if it is almost winter in most of the rest of the country. So, today's Friday Five is...


Five Reasons I Love Colder Weather


1. My down blanket

We bought this when we lived in Raleigh, in a very drafty house, with a very weak and wheezy gas furnace. Our bedroom was always ten degrees colder than the rest of the house. But that was okay, because we had flannel sheets, and this marvelous down blanket. It's a bit lighter than a comforter, which makes it perfect for living in the south, but it also really traps the warmth without you having to pile on the blankets. And I like being cozy when I sleep in the wintertime. Just ask my father who once accused me of having every blanket in the house on my bed. Of course, at the time, I could see my breath when I stood near my bedroom windows, so I suppose it's open to interpretation.


2. Hearty Food

Braised short ribs in barbecue sauce with buttermilk mashed potatoes. Baked acorn squash with butter, brown sugar and cinnamon. Roasted root vegetables. Thick and rich chicken and dumplings. Fresh collard greens. Grillades and grits. Clam chowder. Pumpernickel bread. I could go on, but I need to go find something to eat.


3. Not having to shave my legs every day

Okay, guys, you may be grossed out, but it's a pain in the ass to shave legs. It's awkward, and sometimes down right dangerous. I'm too chicken to wax. I tried to do it myself once, and ended up with a lovely scar. But I'm hirsute enough that I could grow enough barbed wire in a day to surround a prison. So, I look forward to when I can wear woolly tights, and tall boots with my dresses, instead of bare legs and sandals. I don't think my husband is as crazy about it as I am, but he'll deal with it. I don't carp at him when he doesn't shave on the weekends.


4. Cold weather means the holidays are coming

I admit it. I love Christmas and all the trimmings. I love seeing people put up lights, I love the smell of fresh pine and cedar wreaths, and I just love the colours that go along with the holidays. Even when I lived alone in squalor, I always had a tree of some kind, even if it was just a plastic table top one. Yeah, I know it's sentimental, but Christmas has always held warm memories for me, even if some were lousy. It's especially wonderful now that I have a child of my own.


5. We get to watch my sport on TV.

I've grown to really like baseball because of Ray, but after a whole summer of it, I'm ready to watch what I want to watch, and that's hockey. I hate football. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, I don't know, but I just don't get football (and that's American football, y'all). So, I've been getting my husband to watch hockey for the last five years. Last year, we actually lived in the same town as a Stanley Cup winning team. And I only had to move eight hundred miles south of my hometown to do it. I still love the Leafs, but it's going to be a long time before the Cup ends up in Toronto.


Okay, that's it. For those of you who hate winter/cold weather, tough. Or, you can write about the weather you do like. Or not. No posts this weekend, back on Monday, if you can drag me off the beach.

Friday Five

For some reason, I'm grumpy this morning, which is probably why this is late. I don't know if I didn't get enough sleep, enough food, or enough whatever. Maybe I've had too much whatever. Either way, it's a snarky post. Snarkalicious, even.

Deal with it.

Five Halloween Treats I Hope We Don't See Next Year

1. Taffy

You know the ones I'm talking about. They're rock hard and taste vaguely of peanut butter, and are always wrapped in black or orange waxed paper. They're hideous, and I've yet to meet a child or an adult who likes them. I don't even see them in the stores anymore, so where the hell are you people getting them? I have a suspicion that they're a little like the fruitcake of Halloween. Someone out there hoards these hideous taffys for years, and then just passes them on to other unsuspecting trick or treaters.

2. Petrified Raisins

I know you're trying to protect my children's health and my children's teeth by giving them a "healthy" snack. However, when the raisins are rock hard, and taste like the little box they come in, you aren't helping anyone. If my child breaks a tooth on one, I may have to come back to your house to help cover the dental costs.

3. McDonald's Gift Certificates

Most of these are worth about what, a buck? Which means I have to take my child to Mickey D's and shell out money in order for her to use this. Seriously, why did you spend money on the coupon book? Would you like someone to toss some Chicken McNuggets in your treat bag?

4. Religious Tracts

Some guy tried to make my kid promise to read his tract or he wouldn't give her candy. I'm cool if you don't like Halloween. I'm cool with your right to practice your religion. But don't gussy up your house for Halloween, and then hand out tracts to kids telling them they're all going to hell because they're out trick or treating. It's false advertising. How would you like it if a group of Hindus put up a bunch of signs advertising a tent revival and started giving your kids tracts trying to convert them to worship Shiva? Honestly, just give it up already.

5. Pennies

I know you grannies mean well, but pennies don't do much for kids anymore. TFYO is still excited about any form of money, but only because she likes to count it and add it, not spend it. Not yet, anyway. But I know those older kids are thinking, "Swell, Grandma. What the hell am I supposed to buy with this?" Well, the answer is, "Nothing, kid." Not a thing. Unless you want to save them all up for the next ten years. Then you might be able to afford a gumball.

Okay, that's it in all it's snarky, grumpy glory. I'm going to give in and get myself a cup of coffee now before I do harm to someone. Have a good weekend. No really, I mean that.

Friday Five

In-laws are coming through town today, (which always is a reason for smiles), have a cold, have to work a full shift and all weekend (which is a reason to be pissy). What better time than now to think about food that makes me happy?


Five Favourite Desserts

If I found out (some sort of deity forbid) that I was going to die in a couple of days, these are the desserts I would fill up on.



1. Red Velvet Cake

Ray and I had red velvet cake for our wedding cake, and yes that is a picture of it. It's best with cream cheese frosting (we had cream cheese filling in ours, since the cake was covered in fondant). We had a lovely reception in the restaurant. Did anyone talk about the marvelous crab cakes? Or the saffron rice? Nope. Everybody raved about the cake. Now some folks go a little crazy with the red food colouring. Originally, the red colour came from dutch process cocoa. I like a little food colouring, and a lot of cocoa in my cake.




2. Pie

There's just something wrong with you if you don't like pie. I'm specifically referring to fruit pies here, not cream pies, which are completely different. I personally favour apple, peach and pumpkin. Awesome with a good strong cup of coffee. I confess to sometimes eating leftover pie for breakfast. I love mine with whipped cream, not ice cream. I save the ice cream for...




3. Crisps

The easiest and cheapest of all desserts to make. It's a marvelous comfort food. I like mine with either apples or pears. Just take your fruit, peel, core and slice and toss it with some flour sugar and your choice of spices. I like cinnamon and a little allspice for apples, a little ginger and nutmeg for pears. Then the topping. All it is, is flour, brown sugar, butter and rolled oats cut together until it's crumbly. Sprinkle over the fruit and bake it. How easy is that? We ate this dessert a lot when I was a kid.

4. Tiramisu

I could easily live on tiramisu. I'd be hugely fat, but I would be so content in my marscarpone cheese, I probably wouldn't care. I like tiramisu when it's done right. Not with cake, but with ladyfingers. Not with mostly whipped cream, but marscarpone cheese. Not with instant coffee crystals, but espresso. Not deconstructed, and in a heap, but beautifully layered, and light, and just for me.

5. Brownies

I prefer mine a little cakey to fudgy, and I like mine with nuts. There's just something about the smell of a pan of brownies baking in the over that makes me swoon. Which is probably why my husband likes to make them often. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac, right? Obviously they are best still warm from the oven. Heaven.

Okay, that's my five, can't wait to see yours. Have a great weekend, y'all!

Friday Five

Having spent the better part of yesterday getting a sunburn with sixteen four-year-olds, today's Friday Five will be both brief and appropriate.

Five Things I've Learned from Four-Year-Olds

1. Don't hold a grudge.

My daughter's reaction when someone hits her goes like this:

"Ouch, hey stop it!"

"I don't want to play with you anymore!"

"Oh, it's okay. I know you didn't really mean to bite me."

"Let's go play on the see-saw."

She gets over things quickly, and so do her classmates. And she seems happier for it.

2. Behold the power of Play-Doh.

It's true. Take a group of crabby, stressed out kids and give 'em a few cans of Play-Doh. Not only do they all shut up, they all relax, and do some wonderfully creative things. I think I need more Play-Doh in my life.

3. Naps can be good.

This does not apply to my daughter, because she never sleeps during the day. However, she does sit in the corner during nap time and read quietly. We all need quiet time during the day. It keeps us from getting too cranky.

4. Enjoy little things.

We spent three hours wandering around a "Native American Festival" with these kids. The didn't give a damn about the captive bison, the tee-pee, or the dancing. They wanted to pick up sticks, play in the dirt and go feed the ducks. Dirt is captivating. There's lots of interesting things in it. Sometimes life is less about the big show than it is about just playing in the sand.

5. Sometimes it's okay to rely on someone bigger than you when you're scared.

During an animal demonstration involving a very large snake and a caged bobcat, I had six of my daughter's classmates, plus her, all vying for space on my lap. Those that didn't fit on my lap, leaned on my shoulders, hugged me, or just grabbed a fistful of my shirt. Just that little bit of contact made them feel safer and better. It's okay to go hug someone else when you're not feeling strong.

Okay, that's it. Have a good weekend. I'm off in search of some aloe vera for my neck, and maybe grab a nap before I have to head off to work.

Friday Five

Good heavens, is it Friday again? Already?


I spent a lot of time laying on the couch at the beginning of the week, and I spent quite a bit of time with the television. It reminded me a lot of when I was a kid and I'd be home sick from school, wrapped in blankets with the TV on. So, today's Friday Five is sort of inspired by that.





Five 80s Movies I Love


Okay, and I'm not talking about Chariots of Fire, or Gandhi or even Amadeus. Those are Oscar winning beauties, cinematic works of art. I'm talking about fluffy, cheesy movies that make you smile and cringe all at the same time. That kind of 80's movie.



1. Top Gun

It's the only movie I ever liked Tom Cruise in, and really, I liked Anthony Edwards in this more. Great action movie, nice eye candy, you could root for the good guys and feel okay about it. Goose dies, so there's some good crying, and there's a really steamy sex scene. Well, it was steamy to a twelve year old. And I still get shivers every time I hear "Take My Breath Away".






2. Pretty in Pink

This was one of the films I got to watch during my recovery. It's always been one of my favourite "brat pack" films. I was so in love with Ducky, and I could never understand how Andie liked Blaine better. He was so bland, and so easily influenced by his loser, rich friends. Ducky had character, and really great hair. And he loved Andie so much. Who wouldn't want to be loved that way? Annie Potts was also in this film, and her ever changing wardrobe was awesome.





3. Short Circuit

Steve Guttenberg was just everywhere in the 80's wasn't he? I, like millions of other girls, swooned over his everyman-ness. This was a great 80's film because it had it all: moderately hot girl (Ally Sheedy), cute nerdy science guy (Steve Guttenberg), bad racial stereotype ramped up for comedy (Fisher Stevens as an Indian???), and a talking machine. It was 80's bliss. It even spawned a catchy tune, which I had on cassette.






4. Johnny Dangerously

This film is on here because it was the first AA/A-14 film I ever got into without my parents. And I was only twelve. In Canada, Adult Accompaniment, meant that if you were under fourteen, they wouldn't let you in without a parent. Like PG-13 here in the states, but a little stricter. This would-be gangster movie is full of tasteless penis jokes and risque humour. Perfect for a twelve year old who thought she was pulling the wool over the establishment's eyes. It also features Michael Keaton, before he was Beetlejuice or Batman. The great Peter Boyle is in here as well.





5. The Breakfast Club

King of all Brat Pack films, directed by John Hughes, it's filled with enough teen angst to sink the Titanic, but still has a happy ending. Again, one of those perfect 80's films, covering every high school stereotype, to make sure that no matter who you were you could identify with someone. I wanted to Molly Ringwald, but I was more a cross between Ally Sheedy's character and Anthony Michael Hall.



Okay, so that's my five. If you weren't a child of the 1980's, feel free to substitute your decade of choice. But there are no serious films allowed here. Only good-time, fluffy, films.


As my friend Mya said last Friday, have a Bon Weekend, Y'all!

Friday Five

I've picked up a couple of awards, which you may have noticed in the sidebar. I promise to give them the proper fanfare they deserve, and that will happen tomorrow. Honestly. But my newspaper and a fresh mug of tea are waiting for me, so we're going to rush through the Friday Five.

Five Foods I Can't Live Without in My Kitchen

1. Tea

Gotta have it, especially since I'm not supposed to be drinking coffee right now. Yes, I know. Tea has caffeine, too, but not quite so much. And it's soothing. I can drink it before bed, and it doesn't keep me up. On top of that, I had a great-grandmother who was convinced that every sorrow in the world could be cured with a good cup of tea. I have many days when I think she's right. Oh, and that is not a box of tea purchased down here. My best friend, Jillian, carted that down from Canada for me.

2. Hot Sauce

Hot sauce is good on everything: eggs, hash browns, weak beef stew, greens, chicken potpie. I think it can improve on most foods (try chocolate brownies with just a hint of cayenne, so good1). Just ask any soldier about that little bottle of Tabasco in his MRE. If nothing else, hot sauce will kill the taste of anything you don't like.

3. Rice

I lived off rice after I first moved to Alabama. It's cheap, it's fortified with B-vitamins, and it's much better for you than Ramen noodles. Mix it with some frozen veg and hot sauce and it's almost a meal. It's also easy to cook, and tastes great with just butter and salt. Or maybe that's just me. Some of the best rice in America is grown in Arkansas, by the way.

4. Olive Oil

This is my good extra virgin I use for salads and stuff. But I use regular olive oil in everyday cooking, too. It's even a heart healthy fat. My mom started using olive oil long before it was fashionable to do so, and the Italians and Greeks have been using it forever. It's also really good for dry feet, too. Seriously.

5. Onions

I love onions. Milder than garlic, it still adds a great bite to most savory foods. They're great on sandwiches (okay, I admit to eating cheese and onion sandwiches, sue me!), add flavour to soups, stews, and just about everything else. I also just found out that they're a good source of vitamin C! How cool is that?

Okay, that's my five. This list really could have been longer, and I suppose it could be expanded to include non-food things, too. What five things in your kitchen can you not live without?

Friday Five

So, today is my birthday. Happy Birthday to Me! No cake, except for this one, because I'm off to the in-laws for some quiet time and mountain air. In the meantime, here is a birthday Friday Five.

Five Women with Whom I Share A Birthday

(and I look like none of them)

1. Janeane Garafalo, SNL veteran. Alright, maybe I look a little like her.

2. Brigitte Bardot (enjoy the pic, guys, she doesn't look like this anymore)

3. Janet Munro, British actress and glamour girl. I guess I look a tiny bit like her, too.

4. Mira Sorvino, Oscar winner. Meh, maybe around the eyes.

5. Dita Von Teese, burlesque performer, and now the Ex-Mrs. Marilyn Manson, so she's available guys! I look nothing like this woman. Not even a tiny bit. Oh, and don't do a GIS for Dita at work without "safe search" on, just a little tip.

Okay, that's it. Have a lovely weekend, and tell me who you all share a birthday with.

Friday Five

All right, I'm a little late with the Friday Five. TFYO didn't have school today, and she and I both slept in. Well, she slept in for an extra fifteen minutes, and then rousted me out of bed. Sorry.

We're going to keep it simple today.

Five Things That Make Me Happy

1. Fresh, warm apple pie. Not a la mode, but with fresh whipped cream.

2. Hearing TFYO laugh outside while she plays with her Daddy.

3. Monday and Wednesday mornings, when I get to do whatever the hell I want to. Which usually involves a cup of tea, making the AC as cold as I can without feeling guilty, a blanket and the newspaper.

4. The ocean. Hearing it, smelling it, feeling it.

5. My husband, who never expects me to do the dishes or the laundry on Mondays and Wednesdays.

There, simple, sweet, to the point, and just a little sappy. Perfect for a hormonal pregnant woman who has started weeping at Hallmark commercials.

What makes you happy?

Friday Five

I don't know if y'all noticed or not, but I'm just a couple of posts away from 100. I'm not sure really what that means for me. Am I supposed to celebrate? Dance the night away? Or just explode? Hmmmm. I'll let you know when it happens.



Today's Friday Five is...


Five Things I'm Embarrassed to Admit I Like


1. Rick Astley

Yeah, I said it. Anyone who knows me, or has looked at my profile will realize that Rick Astley doesn't exactly fit in the with the Ramones. Cue that Sesame Street song "One of These Things is Not Like the Other". But I was in love with him when I was 13, and the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" still makes me smile. And he was cute, damn it. The music was insipid, but he was cute.

2. Mayonnaise

One of my very first posts on this blog was about the glories of mayo, but not just any mayo. Dukes Mayonnaise. A product of the south, and the best mayonnaise ever made. Most people look at you just a little funny when you say you like the stuff. I had a friend who once told me mayonnaise was nothing more than "sandwich lube". Maybe, but I actually just like it spread on a piece of whole wheat bread. Granted, it's better when you add a fresh tomato, but I like it on it's own too.



In order to finish this list, I may have to continue writing under the desk, just from the shame of it all. Okay....



3. Ghost Hunters

This is an American show, so I'm sorry if my UK/UK transplant friends don't know about it. Of course, it's so obscure and silly, many Americans probably don't know about it either. It's a "reality" show on Sci-Fi channel that follows around a paranormal investigation group from New England. Really, I don't watch it for the alleged investigations they do. I watch it for the interaction of these bizarre people. It's like candy. I can't get enough. I love watching Grant and Jason get fired up over hearing a bump in the dark. There's lots of head swivelling, and "Did you hear that"s going on. It's silly. But I like it.

4. The Daily Mail

This one my UK friends will know. I read the Daily Mail online. I read classical Latin. My major in college was anthropology/archaeology. My minors were history and comparative religion. I am an educated person. But I read the Daily Mail every day. It has the most deliciously tawdry articles about who's too skinny, who's too fat, which woman lost six stone in an effort to get a sex change operation. It's absolutely amazing the number of bizarre stories they can feature. And I read it, because it makes me feel better about my wonderfully normal life. I do admit, I don't read the Posh and Becks stories, though.



5. Pink

The colour, not the singer. I'm not a girly-girl. I never have been. I had a lot of pink when I was little, but it never really seemed like me. So I rebelled. I still wear mostly black. My favorite pair of shoes are Converse high tops with flames painted on the sides. But, I have a secret. Half of my underwear is pink. And I have a pink cell phone. And even though I cringed when people bought pink clothes for my daughter as an infant, I joyfully painted pink flowers on her bedroom walls when we moved into this house.

Whew. That was tough. I'm feeling a little light headed from the strain. Make me feel better by entering the confessional, er...comment section, and unload your deepest darkest secrets.

And have a good weekend, y'all.

Friday Five

I really am sorry for not posting yesterday, but it was kind of a rough day. I had every intention of telling you about my cat, the lumberjack, who loves to scale door frames with her massive claws and Popeye-like leg muscles. But I just couldn't. I got to talk to an Effingham County school psychologist yesterday morning. She's been called in to help with my child. Why?


They, and the pediatrician, believe my daughter has Asperger Syndrome.

For those not in the know, Asperbger Syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder, and there's a fairly accurate Wiki write-up here.

Some of the characteristics of Asperger's include inability to grasp social skills, avoiding eye contact, fixation on a specific field or group of things, and a habit of using repetitive motion or language. TFYO meets all of these criteria. Fortunately, she wants to be social, so the army of therapists that are about to become part of our lives have something to work with. We're also told that TFYO is incredibly intelligent, even more than your run-of-the-mill Asperger's patient. The other good thing is that she's being diagnosed early. Many children aren't diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome until they are ten or eleven. Which means early intervention can help TFYO learn coping strategies in social situations.

But she's having trouble dealing with the other kids at school. She has no concept of personal space, and she has a tough time starting conversations, and she really doesn't like looking people in the eye. She also has this hitting thing lately, where when she can 't figure out how to join a group, she just smacks someone on the shoulder.

You probably know an adult with Asperger Syndrome. There are a lot of them working in technology fields, as scientist, or as musicians, or sometimes even professors. Dan Akroyd recently said he was diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult. They probably seem a little quirky, they're a little obsessed with sci-fi, or trains, or...well, any one thing. They have friends, but not large groups of them. And you'll see them at parties, but often in the corner talking to only one or two people. They're normal, but not...quite.

Looking back on my own childhood through the lens of Asperger Syndrome, it makes a lot more sense to me now. My inability to blend in, my obsession with learning, and not always picking up on social cues. I always just thought I was a nerd. Turns out, there was a label for it.

So, today's Friday Five is a bit of a rip off of my new friend Joy T. over at Spot of T. She did a "Thankful Thirteen" last Thursday. So, today's Friday Five is...

Five Things I am Thankful For

1. I am thankful for my child.

Even though she's been given a label that could hold her back, she's bright and funny and smart. And she's mine. I'm thankful I have her to worry about, when so many other people don't have kids or can't have kids.

2. I'm thankful for my husband.

No doubt, like all couples, we've had our ups and downs. But he's always been an awesome father, and he's always tried to be the best husband he can be.

3. I'm thankful for my home.

We moved around a lot when I was a kid. That's nobody's fault, it's just the way it was. I was never so grateful as when I got to own my own home this year. I can paint the walls chartreuse if I want...and TFYO's room is proof of that. I now have a sense of home and belonging.

4. I'm thankful for all the great people I've met so far blogging.

Every single last one of you. Rotten Correspondent, Jo Beaufoix, Mya, WillowTree, Dumdad, JRH, My Two Cents, Bellevelma are the old(er) timers. Mike, Diana, and a few others are recent visitors. And you're all awesome. It's good to know there's a place I can come to regain my sanity, and read about all of your lives.

5. I'm thankful I made that fateful decision to move to Alabama in 1996.

It seemed like madness at the time, and it almost killed me. But if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Ray, I wouldn't have found my career, and I wouldn't have TFYO. I'm not sure where I would be now, but it can't be better than what I've got.

Okay, there it is. The incredibly maudlin Friday Five. Hopefully you'll forgive the philosophical meanderings, but I just thought it might be nice, on a crappy day, to remember what I'm thankful for. Okay, it's y'alls turn.

What are you thankful for?

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play...

Thanks to John Fogerty for the lyric.

Saturday is my husband's 36th birthday. To celebrate, and because I'm feeling lazy, I had him write this week's Friday Five. My husband is the world's biggest baseball nerd, and that's okay. I'd much rather have him out at the ball park chasing pop flies than down at the bar chasing tail. He has an incredible head for baseball stats and facts. So I thought, why not give him a forum? For those of you who hate baseball, well, that's just tough. This one is for my husband. I've added Wiki links, just in case you need to check something.

Five Random and Somewhat Obscure Baseball Facts


1. The first baseball player to hit more than 20 home runs in a season. Babe Ruth? Nope. Ned Williamson. Yes, THE Ned Williamson. Who?

Ned Williamson, Chicago White Stockings, 1884, hit 27 home runs, which is a ton for the dead-ball era (when baseballs weren't wound as tightly as they were starting in 1920, and when one baseball was generally used for an entire game). So why so many homers? Perhaps because the Stockings played in a virtual Little League park...the distance to the fences were between 185 and 190 feet to the foul lines and 300 feet to center field. The MINIMUM allowable distance down the foul lines these days is roughly 315 feet.

Also, a teeny little rules change helped Ned. Prior to 1884, any ball hit over the fence was counted as a double. The rule was changed to make it a home run because 1884 was also the year that pitchers were allowed to throw overhand for the first time.


2. The oldest player in Major League Baseball history....Satchell Paige, pitcher, member of the Baseball Hall of Fame. His best years were spent in the Negro Leagues, when black players were banned from Major League Baseball. He made his Major League debut in 1948 at the age of 41....maybe. You see, Satchell doesn't actually know when he was born, and there is good evidence he was 46 or 47 in 1948. So while he was officially 58 when he made his final big league start in 1965, he may very well have been in his early 60's.

Even more amazing, in that last game, Paige pitched three scoreless innings for the Kansas City Athletics against the Boston Red Sox. The last player ever to get a hit off Satchell was another Hall-of-Famer, Carl Yastrzemski, who four years earlier made his Major League debut....against the Kansas City Athletics.


3. Only one player played for my team, the Braves, in all three cities in which they have been located; Boston (1876-1952), Milwaukee (1953-1965), and Atlanta (1966-present). That player was Hall-of-Fame third baseman Eddie Mathews (yes, only one 't'). Best known as Hank Aaron's teammate now, but was probably a better hitter than Hank in the 1950's, and he played a tougher defensive position (third base vs. left field for The Hammer). Unlike Hank, Eddie only had a couple decent seasons after he turned 30 years old, whereas Hank was either great, or at least very good, until he turned 40.

(yes, I know this is too dang long, sorry... not a blog pro like the Mrs.)


4. The first player since 1900 to lead each league in home runs, as in he led the American League one season then led the National League later in his career. Not even the biggest baseball fan usually gets this one.....nope, not McGwire (AKA Muscles Marinara)...

Fred McGriff, who led the American League with 36 homers while playing for Jen's Toronto Blue Jays in 1989, then led the National League in 1992, hitting 35 homers for the San Diego Padres. Muscles first led the AL in his rookie year of 1987 with Oakland, then after discovering chemistry, led the NL with his then-record 70 dingers in 1998 with the Cardinals.


5. The last legal spitball thrown in Major League Baseball was sometime in September of 1934. The spitter and other doctored pitches were banned in 1920, but baseball allowed 17 pitchers to continue using it via a grandfather clause. MLB allowed teams to designate pitchers who threw mostly spitters and, theoretically, who would have been useless had they not been allowed to throw spitters. The last legal spitball was thrown by Burleigh Grimes, a Hall-of-Famer who (I think) really shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame...he was good, not great. Not sure of the exact date of his last game, but Grimes' last win came as a member of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Sept. 10, 1934, against the New York Giants.

Okay, y'all. That's the Friday Five. It's not particularly user friendly, but feel free to share equally random facts about your favourite sport in the comment section. Don't have a favourite sport? Use your favourite hobby. No hobbies? Get a life.

Friday Five

My husband told me about TFYO's day at school yesterday. Apparently when he got there to pick her up, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor surrounded by her classmates, and she was reading them a book. So, today's Friday Five is dedicated to my child's love of reading to anyone who will listen to her. I think The Rotten Correspondent may have already done this for a Thursday Three, but I'm doing it anyway.

Five Favourite Childhood Books


1. The Paper Bag Princess, by Robert Munsch and Michael Martenko

I was in Grade two, and this was my favourite book that year. It's about a Princess named Elizabeth who lives in a marvelous castle and has a handsome boyfriend, until a dragon comes along and burns up her stuff and steals the boyfriend, Ronald. She dons the only thing left unburnt, which is a paper bag and goes to get Ronald back. She learns a lesson about pretty boys, and self-reliance. Looking back, I wish these lessons had stuck with me a little better when I was in my twenties. It's now one of TFYO's favourite night-time reads.


2. Frog and Toad are Friends, by Arnold Lobel

I was an early reader, and this was one I had from kindergarten on. It's a grouping of sweet stories about Frog and Toad, and the nice things they do for each other because they are friends. It doesn't matter if it's looking for a lost button, or Frog writing Toad a letter because Toad is bemoaning the fact that he never gets any mail, they always look out for each other.I always had trouble making friends, and so these stories always gave me hope, even as a little kid.


3. The Long Winter, by Laura Ingalls Wilder

I loved all of the Little House books. Sure, she glossed over some of the more serious matters, but Wilder also gave me a little insight into what it was like to live between 1870 and 1890. I had the whole series, but this one was my favourite, even though it is the bleakest. The family is trapped in town, cut off from the outside world by a series of blizzards. I can still remember reading this book, snuggled down in my bed, with snacks around me, listening to the winter howling outside my own window. I think it was my Grandma and Grampa who bought me the box set of the books when I was about nine years old or so. I can't wait to buy the series for TFYO.


4. Hop on Pop, by Dr. Seuss

One of the very first books I can remember having read to me, and reading myself. Its silly and short rhymes make for easy reading by even the youngest kids, and I used to crack myself up reading some of the pages. "No, Pat, NO! Don't sit on THAT!" This is also dear to me, because I remember whispering to my little brother when we were small "Hop on Pop" early in the morning, and we'd go jump on our Dad. He wasn't really amused. But I was. This one has been in TFYO's library so long the pages are now dog-eared. She's way beyond reading at this level now, but she still likes to pull it out, and laugh along with the poems every now and again.


5. A tie:


Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, by Judy Blume

I first read this in sixth grade. I had gone through puberty waaaay before my peers, but I understood Margaret's anxiety. I moved around a lot as a kid, so Margaret trying to fit in at a new school resonated with me. And it was considered slightly naughty by some of the more matronly mothers I knew, which made it that much more attractive. I liked reading about Margaret finding her self-confidence. It helped me fake some of my own, even when I felt like I didn't have any.


The Cat Ate My Gymsuit, by Paula Danziger

This booked tied here, because it's a lot like "Are You There God,", in that it deals with a young woman feeling uncertain. I was never skinny, and like Marcy, I always felt big, ungainly and kind of stupid, even though looking back, I know I wasn't. I also appreciate the relationship she has with her English teacher in this book, because it reminds me of countless teachers who encouraged me, and let me know it was okay to be smart, even if other people didn't like me for it.

TFYO isn't ready for these books, yet, but I'm going to be so happy to share them with her when she is.


So, that's my Friday Five, let's hear what books shaped your minds as kids. Which one of you will be the first to admit to Mad Magazine?

Friday Five, Back on the Chain Gang

Last week, I was all positive and happy, a regular Mary Poppins, about work. This week, we will take a look at the darker side. I'd like to add that most of these jobs were held in my teens and early twenties when I was just looking to make some cash, so if it seems like I've held a lot of jobs, keep that in mind....

Five Worst Jobs I've Ever Held

1. Car Wash Attendant

I was fifteen and this was my first job. My boyfriend at the time got me in here. My job was to towel off cars as they came out of the "touchless" car wash. Doesn't sound too bad, right? Well, this was in Michigan. In the middle of winter. I convinced the owner it would be a good idea to wear gloves, but he still wouldn't let us wear winter coats. We had these flimsy windbreakers with the car wash logo on the front. I used to wear every sweatshirt I had under that thing. My gloves would often freeze to the towels I was using. I would get ice crystals in my hair from the mist as is it froze coming out of the car wash. I quit.

2. Shirt Laundry, Body Presser

I started this job in the summer. It was incredibly hot. My job as body presser was to operate a machine that pressed shirts. It had two mannequin forms that would slide in and out of a giant steam press. While one was being pressed, I had to take a shirt off the form that was out, hang it up, put another shirt on, button two buttons, and hit the clamp all before the shirt being pressed was done and came out. The forms all had metal tops where the shirt collars would sit, and those little buggers got incredibly hot. I still have burn scars on my wrists from brushing that scorching metal. I actually got pretty good, and fast. But the building had no heat, and as winter came, moving from the moist heat of the press to the back of the store where there was no heat set me up for some sinus infections. I'd call in sick, then come back, and get sick again. I finally got pneumonia, and was fired.

3. Recycling plant, "Bottle Sorter"

I got this job from a temp agency, not the same one that assigned me to K-Mart. K-Mart came after this. I was told the job would be "sorting clean bottles for recycling". I was lied to. When I got there, I was handed a shovel, ear plugs, a hard hat, goggle and work gloves. I got to shovel up labels that fell out of the machine that pulled the labels off of the bottles. Now, in my mind, it would make more sense to come up with a more efficient machine that didn't rain labels and water on all those working below. But I suppose it was cheaper to hire someone at eight dollars and hour to slog through two-inch deep water while filling a wheelbarrow every half hour. I did eventually get a turn sorting bottles, which were NOT clean. The things people will put in glass and plastic bottles is beyond me. The hours were also crappy, we worked a twelve hour shift for three days, then were were off for two days. I made it through one three day cycle, and at the end of day three I turned in my gear and quit. I was told it would be considered job abandonment and that I wouldn't get paid, I told them to take it up with the EEOC.

4. Victoria's Secret, sales clerk

Last week I told you I worked for Frederick's of Hollywood, this job is why. I was sixteen, and it seemed kind of cool to work at the mall. But I was appalled at the training. We were told to only actively help women who looked like they had money, and who were obviously the same size as our products. We were actually trained to look for high-end handbags and shoes. Now, perhaps this is not a company-wide policy, but it certainly was of my manager. I got rapped several times for helping women, who in my manager's words, looked like "trailer-trash". Never mind the fact that I got them to buy something, I was "wasting my good time" on people who wouldn't become regular customers. It violated my sense of justice to have to make bigger women feel less pretty because we wouldn't carry something in their size. I quit after just two weeks.

5. Administrative assistant, for a Christian Clothing Company

I won't reveal the name of this company, but they were located in Tuscaloosa, AL. They are now out of business. I got hired on as a customer service representative. I was looking for steady work after being dumped in Alabama by my then boyfriend, and this looked promising. It was close to where I lived, and the people seemed nice. They were, by all accounts, evangelicals. The company made t-shirts to be used as witnessing tools. Some were even kind of clever. I was eventually promoted to be the assistant of one of the VP's. It was a small company, and my boss seemed really nice at first. I was still getting religious tracts telling me I was going to hell because I was attending an Episcopal church, but I just put it down to job risk, and I was also making more money. Eventually, though, I realized my boss who espoused "Christian virtues" was apparently carrying on with the company president. And she was very unstable. She'd frequently sit in her office closet and cry. She once threw a vase at me. And then had me do her son's homework for him. And then couldn't understand why I was part of a mass exodus from the company.

Okay, those are my five. I'll be giving out awards tomorrow! Have a great weekend, y'all!