Monday, December 10, 2007

Pause for Pondering


Yesterday, I went to make a cup of pseudo-coffee. I bought a tin of one of those frou-frou flavoured instant coffees, because the caffeine content is pretty low, and I'm supposed to be watching my caffeine intake (woe is me!).


The directions read thusly:


Create your own flavour destination by measuring 4 teaspoons of (said coffee mix) into your favourite mug. Slowly stir in 6 to 8 fl. oz. of boiling water.


Now, maybe I'm just over-thinking this a bit, but is my enjoyment of the product really going to be enhanced that much by what kind of mug I drink it from?

I mean, suppose, just suppose that instead of using my favourite mug, I use the mug that Ray got in his divorce (which, by the way, was the only item besides a small saucepan that he actually got in his divorce).

Am I going to be saying to myself, "Gee, self. This coffee sure could have been a hell of a lot tastier had I only decided to use my favourite mug instead of this crappy thing with flowers on it." And conversely, will my enjoyment of the product be heightened if I drink it from my new favourite mug (which was a gift from My Two Cents, see below)?


Will I suddenly break out into orgasmic glory over my chocolate coffee drink? Will my hair become shinier, will my debt magically disappear, will my thighs suddenly be jiggle free?


It's almost like directions for condoms saying, "Make sure to use with your favourite person."


This Pause for Pondering not really sponsored by International Foods Coffee, and those stupid commercials about the waiter, Jean Luc, who would never have served anyone this crap in the first place.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's supposed to "heighten" the "me" moment...God save us from ad-speak! It's like "Calgon, take me away!" It never worked for me. I could still hear dogs scratching at the bathroom door and your father yelling "Where's the ..."

Dumdad said...

The bit that gets me is "flavour destination." Destination? "All aboard the taste train!"

the rotten correspondent said...

I'm so confused. I thought your Pasadena mug was the one that Ray got in his divorce and I was thinking WOW. A Pasadena mug. But now that I know it came from My Two Cents it makes more sense. Heh. Get it? Cents/Sense?

Ah yes. More coffee needed. From any mug.

willowtree said...

Well of course it will be better out of a favourite mug! But then I have a thing for mugs.

I'd be more concerned about having to use 4 teaspoons of that powdered chemical cocktail than what mug I was using.

Mya said...

I hope you arrived at your 'flavour destination' - I don't suppose it was cheese flavoured coffee?

Now, if Spouse still had a mug from his divorce, I think I may have accidently smashed it to smithereens by now...but that's probably just me. You're way too mature for that! You got the mug and the guy!

Mya x

Anonymous said...

Maybe I’m strange but I have a favorite mug for coffee, 1 china mug that I will only drink tea from, and a special one for my hot chocolate. I will go out of my way to use only those……..although none of them have ever given me “orgasmic glory” I think I need to buy new mugs.

Molly said...

Very funny Jen, I could go for some of the tasty drink right now...yum.

laurie said...

i'm still trying to figure out what a flavor destination is.....

Anonymous said...

Hey, I like the looks of your mug! Ah, your coffee mug, that is...the one from Pasadena,and not just because it's from Southern California, either. It has a really nice handle. I'm very particular about my coffee mugs, and I do have a favorite - it has Jiminy Cricket's buggy mug on it - and yes, dadgummit, my coffee does taste better in it. I think so, anyway.

Susan said...

I am tickled that you like the mug so much. I thought it was nice so I am glad you do, too.

My husband laments the fact that that all of the best mugs get broken and we are left with the crummy mugs (which don't seem to stop him from drinking his morning coffee or nightly tea) and he wonders why. Simple, we use the good mugs thereby increasing their risk and hence the damage rate.

In the end did you enjoy the coffee? Do you think you would have enjoyed it more or less if you'd had it from a different mug?

Jen said...

Mom A "me" moment doesn't really happen when "us" are in the house.

dumdad "The Taste Train", I love that! Some unscrupulous marketing genius is going to pirate that.

RC We may have to institute a rule that you can't come in here until you've had your required caffeine dosage. LOL

WT It's really just glorified cocoa mix with a dash of instant coffee. It gives me the illusion of having something coffee-ish, when I'm not supposed to be drinking coffee.

mya Erm, cheese? After reading the directions I felt less transported than irritated. I think me using the "divorce mug" is one more dig at his ex. That's a story for another time.

auntie barbie Hey, according to the commerical folks, everything worth having should be throwing you into fits of orgasmic glory every time you use it.

mjd Thank you, *takes a bow*

laurie Ask dumdad, he seems to have a handle on it.

Diana said...

Why, yes! Just think of the inferior experience you'd have had with drinking from less that your favorite mug.

Plus, the baby will also reap the benefits and will have silky, naturally curly hair and a cheerful disposition as a result.

If not, it's because you must have at some point used an inferior mug.

Now, did you make sure that as you stirred, it was done slowly, as the directions said?

I hope so for your sake.

Jen said...

jrh Thanks for the mug compliment. It's nice and big, too, so it holds lots of nice tasty beverage. Usually, I'm drinking hot cocoa (gotta get my calcium, right), but it makes a nice coffee holder too. I guess the truth is, though, if I had to choose between washing my favourite mug or just grabbing "the divorce mug", I'd use the divorce mug. It's not that big a deal.

my two cents In the end, I enjoyed the coffee-flavoured drink as much as I could, given it wasn't actually coffee. It really tastes like Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate with a little bit of instant coffee thrown in. But it's enough to keep me from going on a Starbucks run, or worse, brewing a whole pot of java just for me.

Diana Being the rebel that I am, I stirred it very quickly, counter-clockwise with a fork. Next time, I may get out the electric mixer. Woe to me, I know.

Kim said...

That's hilarious.

Thanks for the good wishes over at RC's place. I like your blog. I'll be back to visit.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee. 'Flavour Destination ' got me too.
Where's it going to take you Jen? I'd choose Lapland, or the Galapagos Islands, or, erm, or I'd go and visit Spongebob Squarepants under the sea. That would be cool.

And did you stir slowly? And would t be better with 6 or 8 fl oz?
Oh the questions. :D

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. my flavour destination? Oh somewhere around the Mediterranean...with olives, cheese and crusty breads....

Wonder if I could package that?

Flutterbot said...

oh man I totally forgot that stuff even existed! I loved that stuff when I was a kid. And the mug does make a HUGE difference.

willowtree said...

It's been a while Jen, I hope everything is ok. You may have already mentioned something about taking a break and I missed it. (because no-one else seems to be worried!)