She is watching the detectives...

I love Elvis Costello. Always have.

So, I was tootling around the stats for this blog the other day, giggling over how many searches were done for "roadkill in Georgia" on the day of my quiz, when I got to noticing a rather disturbing trend.

People stumble across this blog for all kinds of reasons, usually a Google search that has nothing to do with what I'm writing about. Why they click on this blog, I'll never know, since they never comment.

But can you guess what the most common Google search was that led people to my blog?

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, and the song FIRE!

You might remember a while back I did a post about the Great Wake Up Crew Fire of 2004, and I used that song as the title. Well, it turns out, there are a whole lot of people in Germany who are intensely interested in the song, or my story. One or the other. Because so far, I've counted over 150 page loads from that search alone, and they all originate in Germany, usually in Berlin. I'm at a loss to explain why, and I'm not sure if I should find it creepy, or incredibly hilarious.

Of course, I also get a lot of hits from people looking for song lyrics, and they've usually gotten them wrong. My favourite is someone mistook "You Can Leave Your Hat On", for "You Can Leave Your Head On", and they spelled head wrong. Gives the song a whole new meaning. Cat Stevens' "Morning Has Broken" is always popular, with a lot of searches coming out of Poland, for some reason.

Some other fun Google searches:

"Suggested pregnancy well wishes", which brought them to "What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me..." I can only imagine their surprise and disappointment.

"Bad highlights" or "highlighting cap" has been polled over two hundred hundred times, and of course brings up my disastrous run-in with said highlighting cap. I can only imagine how many people have decided against having their hair done because of me.

Another favorite is "Lad I don't know where you've been", which has clocked an astonishing four hundred hits since I wrote the post.

There's also this PR firm that comes over to my blog every time I mention Duke's Mayonnaise. So, since you're here guys, I'd be happy to be your spokesmodel, or blogmodel. Really. I work cheap.

But the Google search that makes me laugh the most is for "Rotten Correspondent". RC, do you have any idea how many people are searching for you? I've had over fifty hits from people searching for "rotten correspondent". And I'm starting to wonder if it isn't RC herself doing the searches.

Friday Five tomorrow, and then I'm taking a very short vacation to see the in laws, so don't expect to see a post this weekend. But feel free to stop by. Maybe you can convince the guys from Duke's to hire me.

Private Eyes, They're Watching You...

With many thanks to Hall and Oates for the title.

In the interest of full disclosure, I think it's important that I let all of you know that you're being watched while you're here. Well, kind of watched. You may, or may not, have noticed I have a stat counter at the bottom of this blog. Not only does it tell me how many page loads I have, but it also keeps track of where you all are from, and how you found my page. And I say this now only because apparently I've been turning up in Google searches for "John Deere Bathing Suit", which I find incredibly hilarious. (Try it, and see the interesting returns you get, besides me, of course).

As far as I can tell, no one actually makes a John Deere bathing suit. Oh, there are a few listings for bathing suits that come in yellow and green, but nothing with the actual logo on it. So, for the PR companies that have visited this site (you know who you are, and I know you've been here!), take note: there's a whole bunch of people out there (at least the 45 that have clicked on this blog) that want a bikini with the John Deere logo on it.

I've also been turning up in Google searches for Mark Twain, because I used his quote, as well as song lyric searches, because I use song lyrics for the titles of my entries. I'm amused by this, and I also feel sorry for the folks who are inadvertently clicking on this blog thinking they're going to get some good information. But hey, even if you got here by mistake, I hope you stay and read. I'm occasionally amusing, and sometimes irritating. The people who leave comments here are certainly more profound and intelligent than I am on any given day, and they're really the reason you should stick around.

Now I want to let you know, I don't use your information for some evil plot to take over the world, it's more just because I'm curious about who you are, and to see how many people are actually reading my ramblings. Apparently, there are a lot of you, most of whom don't comment. I've had visitors from as far away as Australia and India, and I want all of you to stay. And leave a comment, even if it's just a note to say "hi" and that you found my blog.

That way, I can at least say thank you.