Friday, February 1, 2008

Friday Five

Last week's Friday Five was gobbled up by temporal rift. No, really. It swallowed me, too. Fortunately, we here in Georgia managed to seal the rift and rescue the Friday Five for your reading pleasure.

Five Things I've Learned from Science Fiction

1. Your twin in an alternate universe is infinitely cooler than you.

They dress better than you, they get more time with the opposite sex, and they very rarely ever had breakouts as a teenager. They're also likely to sport a short, pointy beard.

2. Men who write sci-fi are obsessed with triple breasted women.

I'm not really sure why this is. You'd think that extra one would just get in the way. And why three, guys? Why not an even number? Or maybe that would just make us look more like cows. For more proof on my theory about men and triple-breasted women, please see Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six from Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. And after doing a GIS for this, I decided not to post any of the pictures I came across. You can do your OWN image search if a picture is that important to you.

3. Dead doesn't always mean dead.

Especially if you're a popular character. See Spock in Star Trek II (he came back to life in number III), Dr. Elizabeth Weir in Stargate Atlantis, and a host of other folks. You might get blown to pieces, destroyed with an exploding planet, shipped to a different universe or lost in a transporter beam, but somehow, someway, some enterprising scientist will figure out a way to put you back together.

4. Food doesn't sound as good in the future.

I'm sure they have gourmet chefs. But every show I've seen and every book I've read has people eating food made from machines, either with replicated DNA or dried up bits reconstituted into some kind of edible material. Shoot, in Firefly they were lucky to get dried up space rations half the time. In one of Douglas Adams's books, The Restaurant at the End of The Universe, there was a cow that would commit suicide for you so you could have a steak. In the movie Demolition Man, the only restaurant left was Taco Bell. I fear for my food in the future. The picture is from this article on futuristic food, photo courtesy of Stephen Orlick and Homaro Cantu. If you're wondering what it is, it's a maki roll, printed with edible flavoured ink on an ink-jet printer. It's an edible picture of sushi. Yeah, that's what I said.

5. The future is either really great, or it really sucks.

This depends on who you read. With Orwell, Phillip K. Dick, and the show Firefly, the future doesn't neccessarily look so good. We've wiped ourselves out with wars, we've become desensitized to our surroundings, we've lost our freedoms, we've widened the gap between wealthy and poor. But, if you watch Star Trek or read some Arthur C. Clarke, it doesn't look too bad. Sure, there's conflict, but everyone is fed and housed, and great scientific leaps are being made. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Well, that's this week's Friday Five, have a good weekend y'all. Since I don't have to work tomorrow, I think I'll be working on sleep instead!


Dumdad said...

Interesting post.

Yes, No. 3 is so true. Dr Who doesn't die but just morphs into a new doctor; great for the TV series as it never ends even if the actor dies!

I think whoever came up with a triple-breasted woman must be slightly cracked (more's better?!). Unless she also had three ears, three legs and three arms etc it doesn't make biological sense.

That's a great scene in the Hitchhiker's Guide when the cow ambles up to the table and suggests what parts of her body the diner might like to eat.

Have a great weekend.

Mahala said...

I'm thankful I finished my breakfast before seeing #4 lol. That's ickypoo.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

My husband is a big sci-fi fan, and I've watched a fair amount of it because...well, I had to, basically.And I have to say that your list made me laugh wildly, because you're spot on.

The picture of the sushi? Ugh. The mental image of a three breasted woman? Ugh.

But the picture of Spock? I have no words.

thegrandview said...

I seemed to remember the line, "martinis are like women's breasts. One isn't enough and three are too many."

thegrandview said...

I seemed to remember the line, "martinis are like women's breasts. One isn't enough and three are too many."

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee. Mr B is a bit of a sci fi dude.
I have learned that all sci fi fashion tends to be a bit 80s.

I'm totally with you on the food - you never see anyone cooking.

Beautiful people are generally good, less attractive ones are bad.

And the others you chose are spot on.

Kaycie said...

This post is very revealing. You, like me, spend entirely too much time watching the SciFi Channel, don't you?

mjd said...

Most of the science fiction books that I have read say the future sucks, but maybe that is my distorted perception.

Willowtree said...

1. I am the the twin from the alternate universe.

2. Women who write sci-fi are obsessed with how the monster feels.

3. Unless you are 'unnamed landing party member'.

4. Anything sounds better than McDonalds.

5. So is the present.

Diana said...

#3 is true unless you are a minor character (a 'spear thumper' as in the sci-fi story "Rite of Passage--can't recall the author). Then you die. Early and irrevocably.

As to the triple breastedness--I'm guessing that's because: one mouth, two hands to the average male. I hope I am wrong.

Dumdad said...

An award awaits you at my blog.

glscott said...

Let's see:

1. Slower means faster. Any episode of "The Six Million Dollar Man" will tell you that.

(By the couldn't make a remake of that show...because the project would be grossly undervalued.)

2. Asthma exists on other planets. (See Darth Vader)

3. Beards are cooler. (Alternate universe Spock, William Riker)

4. Everyone needs a replicator.

5. Don't be the Starfleet security guard that wears red...but you already knew that one.

Sam said...

Here's my thing. I was promised jet packs and flying cars in the 21 century and so far I haven't seen bupkis. And you know I am the biggest geek in town. Although the coffee maker at work has to have a sentient mind, I think. Coffee at work should not be that good.