Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Well I'm not paralyzed...

That lyric from the Canadian band Finger Eleven's single from last year "Paralyzer".

Which will make a lot more sense when I tell you that I almost chopped off my left index finger last night.

I really thought I'd have more pregnancy things to write about, but everything has been going along so well. My back aches have mostly subsided, my feet only hurt at the end of the day, I don't have any edema. It's been great. However, I'm still a tad absentminded, and therefore should not really be handling sharp implements.

My in-laws gave us a lovely eight inch santoku-style chef's knife for Christmas, after I was caught lusting after the one they bought themselves last year. And it is a gorgeous knife. It goes through carrots like they were cheese. Smooth action, nicely balanced handle. But it still is not idiot or pregnant woman proof.

What pisses me off is that the last thing I thought before catching my finger was "I bet this would hurt like hell if I don't pay closer attention to these onions I'm chopping."

Then, WHAM!

Fortunately for me, I only cut off half of the finger nail. But as anyone who has watched a spy film knows, pulling off finger nails is a form of torture. It bled copiously, and I confess to almost passing out. Mostly because I had to wash and dress the damn thing myself.

Here's a tip (no pun intended): If you're going to do yourself unintentional injury, make sure every one around you isn't busy doing something else. Also make sure you've got more than just Dora band-aids in the house.

My husband was very concerned, of course, but he was also concerned about saving the beans and rice I was in the process of making. I quietly suggested that he might want to toss the pile of chopped onion I was working on, and start afresh. I also told him he might want to wash the knife, the counter, the floor, and anything else I may have come into contact with.

My child was mostly concerned that she didn't have a band-aid, and since Mommy had one she thought she should have one, too. Too bad for her, I was hogging all the bandages to keep from bleeding on her.

By the light of day, it doesn't look as bad as I thought. It still hurts like hell, but when I re-wrapped it this morning (with Strawberry Shortcake water-proof bandages), I realized it was just the nail, and not the finger itself that had been cut. The nail bed looks pretty crappy, but overall the injury isn't too bad, and it's seems to have stopped bleeding. It's just in sensitive place, and smarts every time I bump it.

So, if my typing seems, well...odd, forgive me. My middle finger is doing double duty today.


Leendaluu said...

Yow! I'll respect my similar knife more now...just last night I was thinking WOW...look how fast I can chop with this baby...

Kaycie said...

Bless your heart! I always blamed anything that happened during my pregnancies on "pregnancy brain". It was like having big swiss cheese holes in your brain for nine months. I sympathize!

I hope your finger heals quickly and nicely.

And my middle finger does a lot of double duty, not because of cuts, but because of bad moods. ;)

my two cents said...

Oh, hope your finger gets better soon. Where's RC when you need her?

laurie said...


i have been typing with a bandaid on the tip of MY finger, too. sliced the tip while trying to slice a ham.
those buggers are slippery.

and i don't have pregnancy as an excuse.

Diana said...


Having done a very similar thing with the same sort of knife, I have to say that I've slowed my chopping down and am still fearful of talking to anyone when slicing.

I hope it heals quickly and nicely. Fingers are so sensitive!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

As someone who has 168 stitches in her left hand I feel I shouldn't be allowed to comment on this at all.Sharp knives + absent mindedness = lots and lots of blood.

Hope it heals fast!

Mya said...

Eek! I can't stand the sight of blood. And I've just realised I don't like reading about it too much...especially not first thing in the morning...with my breakfast.

I hope it heals quickly you poor thing. Perhaps Ray should do the cooking for a while?!

Mya x

Jo Beaufoix said...


Oh that must be so sore. Hope you feel much better soon sweetie.

Teresa said...

Ewww...this post sure made me wince!
I too have cut my fingernail to the quick with a knife and damn, it hurts like hell! It is the kind of situation where your knees go weak and your armpits prickle because you realize what a close call it was.

Teresa said...

I am not familiar with Paralyzer
so I clicked on your link and hah, hah, I get it....Eleventh Finger!
Very clever.

ped crossing said...

Owww. I have to admit, I think the kid bandaids are kind of fun. Of course, I get spiderman, backyardigans and hotwheels. We did buy some tattoo bandaids that are kind of fun.

Go buy yourself a box of bandaids that you like and I hope it gets better fast!

Iota said...

Hm, and there was I thinking that a Strawberry Shortcake bandaid was the answer to everything in the injury line. I have more variants of bandaids than Wal-mart (um, that can't logically be true, since Wal-mart is the source of my collection, but it feels like it).

I'm glad no harm was done.

Dumdad said...

Ouch! It's so easy to do and, yes, I've had exactly the same thought while wielding a sharp instrument: "I hope I don't .. aaargh!"

Dumdad said...

There's an award awaiting you at my blog.

Poetess said...

Hello Jen

Hope you are ok and the pregnancy is going well. Its been a while since i checked in at blogland but hopefully I will be around a bit more now.

Your poor finger. Sounds nasty. I was holding onto a box file yesterday and it dropped backwards. I have very long nails and it bent two of mine backwards ripping them from the finger. Ouch Ouch. It is still sore today. Hope yours is healing well.