Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I' m into my second trimester of pregnancy, and it's finally happened.

For those not familiar with this delightful side effect of being pregnant, it involves forgetting almost everything you really need to remember and being able to drop things on the floor that you thought you had a firm grip on. And yes, that includes reality.

I locked myself out of the house last Wednesday as I was trying to get to TFYO's Halloween party. I had my hands full of camera, water bottle, purse, etc. The only thing I didn't have was my keys. That did not, however, stop me from locking the handle lock as I walked out the door. I realized my mistake just as it swung shut behind me.

I did have my cell phone so I could call my husband. The only trouble is, we live about forty-five minutes from where we work, so I knew I'd be waiting a while. It's a good thing it was warm

Our neighbour graciously made fun of me for not leaving an extra house key under the mat like he does. I graciously informed him that half the neighbourhood now knew how to break into his house while he was gone.

I also discovered during my forty-five minute wait that I would be a lousy burglar, myself. I could not get a window open no matter how hard I tried. And the credit card in the door thingy? Does. Not. Work. At. All. I couldn't even force the garage lock open.

Of course, pregnancy brain has affected me in other ways. I've cracked open the mic at work a few times, only to forget what the hell I'm going to say.

"Hey, that Who was that? Oh, yeah. The latest from Ozzy Osbourne." Fortunately for me, Ozzy's memory is about on par with mine right now, so it made for a good joke, anyway.

I also managed to juggle a cheesecake down the front of the kitchen cabinet. It was saved by the heroic efforts of my husband, who, in a move worthy of the Six Million Dollar Man, made a flying leap to catch the thing before it hit the floor. I could almost hear the "dadadadadadada" sound, as he shouted "N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" in slow motion.

I drop my keys. I drop papers. I drop CD's at work. I can't hand anything to anyone to save my soul. I drop food constantly, but thankfully my ever-expanding chest seems to catch most of it.

My only excuse, and thankfully everyone buys it, is that I have pregnancy brain.

Right. I'm sorry, what was this post about again?

Update: I posted this, and then realized I forgot to find a title for it. Crap. It's invading my blogging time, as well.

Update, Number Two:

I've just been given another award by the fabulous Jo Beaufoix, who is so fabulous she designed this award herself. She is also fabulous, because she gave all the recipients three different versions to choose from. I chose this one:

I'm not sure how Jo managed to get her head stuck back on, but I'm grateful to have made anyone laugh that hard. I'm also grateful she didn't sue me for damages or clean-up.

14 comments: said...

Omigod, I have all the symptoms too.
Btw, big fan of the Kinks too. Ray Davies put out a new disc last month that is excellent.

captain corky said...

Congrats on being pregnant! But just incase maybe you should carry an ax around with you. ;)

Jen said...

grand view I suggest you pee on a stick right away to find out if you're preggers. And find out who the father is... I've heard Ray's new disc, it's great stuff. I've always thought he was under-rated as a writer and doesn't get the credit he deserves.

captain corky Do they make an axe that will fit in my purse? Or how about one for the diaper bag?

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Oh, I hated pregnancy brain. But on the other hand people cut you some slack for it. It gets a little old when you say - oh I have infant brain or three year old brain or teenager brain.

Use the crutch while you can, Jen. Just protect the cheesecake at all costs.

auntie barbie said...

I think that pregnancy brain is a lot like pre-menopausal brain.

laurie said...

gosh, i have those symptoms and i'm not pregnant!

hopefully your forgetfulness will go away in a few months. mine, i'm afraid, i'm stuck with forever.

my two cents said...

Yes, save the cheesecake at all costs!! I have locked myself out enough times that I now have two sets of keys in my pocketbook, another hidden on the property, and one at my next-door neighbor's house. My advice is just take it easy during this pregnancy brian period.

bellevelma said...

I'm sorry, I'm laughing too hard at the c-section barbie to comment on much else. I do recall seeing something about cheesecake in there and did I tell you I recently bought a container of cheesecake filling and just ate it like ice cream? With a spoon. Straight out of the container.

Sam said...

Rught now, I'm running the board on the Country station for the CMA'S. I'm woried I might say "Here's Taylor Swift on your hip hop and R&B Leader", so I don't think it's pregnancy brain...

Diana said...

Makes you just want to velcro a bag to your body that includes your keys, phone, wallet, etc so you can just give in and not worry about it.

Jo Beaufoix said...

God I remember pregnancy brain.
Before that I just got called scatter-brained, and then nappy brain hit, and now I'm scatterbrained again.
Have you got the unbelievable pregnancy sense of smell too?
When I'm pregnant, I can actually smell water, and the water upstairs in my house smells different to the water downstairs. What's that all about??
Yay for Ray the cheesecake's superhero, and yay for Bellevelma on her amazing cheesecake escapade.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh, and the Barbie is quite disturbing.

Dumdad said...

An award awaits you at my blog.

ciara said...

at least you have PREGNANCY for an excuse...i don't have an excuse lol