Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Don't sit under the apple tree...

I had a really great entry all planned out for today (no, really, I did!), but then this story caught me eye. You can go here to read it in full.

Apparently, some guy in New Hampshire thought it would be a brilliant idea to rob a Citizen's Bank dressed as a tree.



Now either this guy was a sniper school reject, or he spent waaaaay too much time hanging out in the silk foliage department of his local WalMart. It takes camouflage to a whole new level. Looking at his picture I kind of get the feeling that he was that kid on Halloween dressed in the flowery bed sheet.

I suppose you could say he wasn't so much "armed" as "limbed". And I can't help but wonder if he asked the teller to "give him all the green". And if she told him to "make like a tree and leave".

My question is, what kind of town is Manchester, New Hampshire, that a tree walking into a bank is not something that draws the attention of the security guard? I mean, I'm all for freedom of expression, but if somebody walks into your bank deciduously dressed, don't you think they might be, just might be, up to no good?

I know we need to give our plants the benefit of the doubt. There would be nothing worse in my mind than profiling based on leaf shape, but unless it's in a pot, I would think a tree in a bank would stand out. I wonder if this means that all potted palms are barred from banks from now on. I don't know about you, but that maple in my front yard is starting to look awfully suspicious.

The best part of this story: the bank was on Elm Street.

10 comments:

Molly said...

Very funny post, Jen. "Deciduously dressed"...what a great metaphor. When you mentioned the kid dressed for Halloween in the flowery sheet, I remembered dressing as a tree for a party one year (as an adult.) We were poor so I wore black pants and a black sweater and sewed green tissue paper leaves on the shoulders and the top part of the sweater. Even if this looked dorky, I did not rob a bank...honest.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Heh heh

I agree with mjd, Jen.

It was so funny I just had to read this post out to Mr B and the phrase "deciduously dressed" had us both giggling.

Maybe he looked like a friendly tree, but I suppose they soon found out his bite was worse than his 'bark'.

Get it, 'bark' get it?

I'll get me coat...

Gurnal said...

Jen...you know just as well as I do that you just can't make this stuff up. My only question (and this is my sports background talking)is did this guy have any connection to Stanford University?

Since their on-field mascot is a tree, I wonder if it's some training ritual.

Oh well...

Jen said...

Oh, you guys crack me up! I was hoping the post was punny enough, and I'm glad you all got a chuckle.

And mjd, don't feel bad about a dorky costume. I had a program director once who showed up for work on Halloween wearing a white t-shirt with a giant letter P on it, and he'd put black make-up on both of his eyes. He was a "black-eyed pea".

-_- said...

hey

you are one of two bloggers chosen by sharm to represent your country in the first international blog
WUB (World United Bloggers)
the aim of this blog is to prove to the world that the difference in our languages and religions and colors doesn't make us hate each other and we can make this world better if we say our opinion with a respect to the opinion of the others
if you are agree to join us please send e-mail with your nick name , age , country and your blog address to send you activation mail which makes you read every thing about the WUB (World United Bloggers) and it's aims
thanks

Sharm

Poetess said...

Hi

Perhaps he was branching out a little bit. Maybe in a former life he was a bit of a weed!!

Loved this post.

Poetessxxxxxxxxx

willowtree said...

Actually the Bank itself is in Rhode Island (honest), he was trying to rob one of the branches. In that picture he looks like he's leaving. I hear that before he tried to drive away, he threw the cash in the trunk. He got bail though, due to his roots in the community.

Guess which one of us has no life.

the rotten correspondent said...

The post was funny enough and then all the comments just kind of took root. TOO hilarious. You all crack me up!

Lo Kelween said...

hey found out taht are one of the WUB member so pop byand check out your blog.love the post very cool :) take care

Flutterbot said...

DUDE! Thats awesome! The Dead Presidents are SO last year!

;)