Monday, October 15, 2007

Hello My Ragtime Gal!

We are truly terrible people. Dare I say it, we may be shunned by some of our friends who belong to PETA.

We are murderers.

But it was an accident, swear! I had no idea. Really, I didn't.


Saturday evening, Ray and TFYO ran out to grab us some dinner, because we were all too tuckered from work and play to cook. Ray had a personal appearance that day, and TFYO went with him to the "Healthy Savannah Festival". She tried to hula hoop, but it's not going to happen until she grows some hips.

So, back they came with our food in boxes, there was much commotion with cats running every which way, and the front door was summarily slammed shut.


Later on, I was on the couch as we went through the bedtime ritual of TFYO begging for one more book before bed, when I noticed Zoe.


She was sitting by the front door looking up, but I couldn't quite see what she was looking at. Then I noticed there was something long and spindly sticking out of the door frame. Zoe seemed to want it very badly. I thought it was either a bit of leaf or pine straw mulch at first. Then I thought it might be part of a very large bug.


So, I called for Sir Ray, killer of Black Widow spiders, destroyer of ant colonies, bleacher of maggoty trash cans, and I told him to check it out. Because, of course, I am a coward.


He got close and looked.


"Is that a bug leg?" I asked. He peered a little closer. And then a horrible thought dawned on me.


"Oh, my god, is that... is that a FROG leg?"


Sir Ray gingerly opened the door, and peeked around at the door frame. The look on his face as he turned around told me everything I needed to know.


And then, even though he kind of looked like he wanted to throw up, he started to laugh. And I felt awful, and I told him he was awful for laughing. And then I started to laugh, too, because it was just terribly macabre.


"Well, it looks like it was pretty quick for him," Ray said, "He's very...flat." So, Ray went off to fetch a paper towel. And it took him five minutes to peel the poor little guy off of the door frame. And then for some inexplicable reason, Ray started to come back in the house with those flattened amphibian remains!


"What are you doing?" I screeched.


'Well, what do you want me to do with it?" he demanded.


"Take it outside, bury it, fling it to the buzzards, toss it in the trash can! I don't know, just don't bring it in here!"


So, Brave Sir Ray, killer of Black Widow Spiders, destroyer of ant colonies, and now, disposer of flat frogs, took it outside, and chucked it in the trash.


Thank goodness today is trash day.

13 comments:

Diana said...

Oh! ouch!

Yes, as you say, at least it was quick.

PixelPi said...

You win the prize of being the first post of the day to make liquid squirt out my nose and onto my keyboard.

As soon as I clean up the mess I'll start working on an award.

It's sooooooo hysterical that he was going to bring Fred back IN the house to put in the trash. No. No. Must stop laughing.

www.thegrandview.wordpress.com said...

Poor Kermit.

Jen, I just got my Georgia Prize pack today. Thanks very much. There may be a post in this!!!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee ha ha ha.
Oh Jen, it could only happen to you.
How in the hell did that frog get up there.
Did you catch it mid jump?
I know I shouldn't laugh but, hee hee ha ha ha ha.

Oh, and, yuck. :P

Mya said...

That little frog just wasn't quick enough. Shame you didn't find him sooner - he'd have made a novel pizza topping...

Mya x

Jen said...

Diana I'm hoping it was quick. He was quite the pancake.

Pixelpi Woot! I've never made liquid come out of a blogger's nose before! I'm so proud. I hope it didn't hurt too much. I hope it wasn't a hot liquid. Or a carbonated one. LOL

GrandView Oh, I'm so glad you got your prize pack in one piece. I tried so hard to fit the mayo in the box, but it was too big. We're in the south, they don't make tiny jars of Duke's.

JoWell, as he was a tree frog, they tend to stick to unlikely places. I've found them tucked up under the edges of the siding on my house before. I found one on the ceiling of my porch. They tend to be very sticky. He just, erm...got a bit more sticky than most. Ick.

Mya Frogs legs are popular here. But then, I've met people in the south that swear by squirrel and 'possum pie, too.

my two cents said...

I see lots of squished lizards here, but frogs seem a lot squishier! Yuck.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Derrr of course he was a tree frog.
We just get the jumpy kind here. Though I imagine they'd be equally squishy. Bleurghhh.

auntie barbie said...

You need to post tiny caution signs around your house.
CAUTION
Door Slammers Live Here.

Dumdad said...

Over here, those amphibian legs wouldn't have touched the ground before they went thudding into the frying pan and the kids were tucking into dinner. Maybe not!

Did you know it was illegal to "harvest" frogs' legs in France? They are all imported.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

You have too made liquid come out of our noses before, silly girl. Do you have pregnancy memory already??

Jo Beaufoix said...

Come and see, you have awards Miss Jen.

JRH said...

You probably don't need to worry about PETA's reaction. They normally only concern themselves with cute furry creatures, not sticky-slimy green ones (although I do think your little froggy friend pictured is pretty cute). Yes, it's not that easy being green, or so I've heard.