Monday, June 4, 2007

Look, he's crawling up my wall

First line of Boris the Spider, by the Who.

I really hate spiders. I mean, really, really, shudder all over hate them. I have ever since I was a kid, and one dropped down on me from the ceiling while I was laying in bed. But I may never be able to kill one after today.

We recently got a ton of rain from what was left of Tropical Storm Barry, and goodness knows we needed it, as we've been in a drought for some time. However, when the rains come, the creepy crawlies often seek refuge in a dry place, and I suppose the most convenient place was my house. So, I've squished a few over the past couple of days, and didn't think anything of it.

Then, this morning, one little black spider ran over my bare foot. I didn't yell, and I didn't shriek, although I wanted to. I played it cool because my daughter was sitting on the couch, and I didn't want to upset her. I did the only thing I could think of, and grabbed my flip-flop sandal, and smacked the thing. And then this conversation ensued:

4-year-old: "Mommy, what is that?"

Me: "A spider."

4-year-old peers at the floor.

4-year-old: "No it's not, it's a black dot."

Me: "Well, it was a spider, before I got rid of it."

4 year-old: "You mean, you crushed him up, you smashed his little body?"

Me: "Well, yes, I killed the spider."

4-year-old: "So, killing is a kind of getting rid of."

Me: "Well, yes, but..."

4-year-old: "Did Daddy kill the trash this morning?"

Me: "WHAT?!?!"

4-year-old: "I hope nobody gets rid of me that way."

And so, now, I'm wracked with guilt over this poor, tiny, defenseless, and now flushed-down-the commode spider. Strangely enough, my child seems less traumatized by all of this than I am. I'm mortified at what I've apparently taught my daughter with the example of a squished spider.

I'm not really sure how I'm going to explain chicken fingers to her.


nikki said...

Ok that's just TOO funny!

As strange as it may sound I actually like spiders. Growing up I had mostly boy friends ... we spent a lot of time playing with bugs lol.

DaydreamSupercollider said...

Jen, I've had near heart-attacks over spiders. I like watching them on TV or looking at pictures on the net or National Geographic, but anywhere near me and I'm ready to call the fire dept. It's the only thing about camping I don't like (funny, I can handle the idea of large animals like bears, but an itty bitty little spider is my undoing...go figure).

taqdeer said...

lol, that is one cute 4 year old!

What I will teach my child when i have one, godwilling, is the law of the jungle.

I got it from the movie 'Jungle Book'. It reads: "Kill only to eat and to not be eaten."

I see you adopted a Spider as well, hehe

Jen said...

Yes, adopting the spider was my daughter's idea. I used to have a little HTML pig, but the 4-year-old said the spider was better. I suppose it's my penance!

I've gotten better around spiders. I once stood petrified in the corner of a shower stall because a spider crawled in there with me. I had to scream for my husband to come and get it, but he couldn't hear me over the water. I was yelling my head off for almost five minutes. What a waste of water!

Jen said...

PS. You guys can feed the spider, just click on the little tab at the lower corner and you can feed Boris a fly.

Gurnal said...

Thoughts of spiders always bring me back to Andrew Dice Clay's version of Little Miss Muffet.

"...along came a spider that sat down beside her and said 'What's in the bowl, bi---!!??'"

I think I need to go off and see "Spider-Man 3" now.

Jen said...

Gurnal, we had a SIMULPOST! Woot!

Gurnal said...

What can I say? Great minds... know the rest.

Flutterbot said...

due to my over exaggerated guilt for "all life forms" I used to spend lots of time chasing spiders that were stuck in the bathtub with a very large tupper wear tumbler then let them loose outside. One time there was a black widow in the tub that I decided not to rescue using the tumbler method (luckily I'm no dummy) but I also couldn't kill it so I had to get my 12 year old son to do the honors, I still felt guilty as all get out even though it wasn't me who actually did the killing.


Flutterbot said...

That sounded weird, "guilt for all life forms" hmm what I meant was how I feel responsible for preserving the harmony of all life forms, there for get sick when I disturb it.

um.. and that sounds, new agey.. its just... well you get it right? ;)

Jen said...

LOL, Flutterbot, you are at one with the universe. Spiders everywhere are sighing a collective "ohm" in your honor.

Actually, I never killed spiders myself until I caught my daughter playing with one when she was a baby. Suddenly, I was the fierce lioness protecting her cub. Or, er...something along those lines. For some reason, she thought it was fun to play peek-a-boo with the thing.

auntie barbie said...

I once worked with a Hindu woman who was horrified one day when I killed a spider (one of those big white ones) She then lectured me on how every living creatures life is sacred, and then she asked me how I would feel if in my next life I came back as a spider? My reply to her was "If I come back as a spider, I hope to god someone kills me quick so I can come back as something better"

Pilar said...

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