Thursday, June 7, 2007

Middle of the Night, Hold on Til Morning


As I write this, it is the middle of the night. Well, figuratively speaking. It's just before 4 a.m. and my husband has headed off to work. But my daughter is awake, as sometimes happens, and I'm waiting for her to go back to sleep, so if the post seems to ramble, I apologize.


Most of my life has been spent in cities, with the exceptions of summers and winter holidays spent at my Granny and Grandad's store, so I'm still amazed at how dark out it can be. So dark, that when I look out the window, the stars twinkle back at me. I used to be afraid of the dark. Things like dark closets would terrify me, and don't even get me started on middle-of-the-night power outages. When I was a kid (and another early riser, like my child) I would sleep with the light on. Sometimes, still, if I've been under a period of great stress, I'll sleep with the light on, which impresses my husband to no end, I'm sure.

Since moving here, though, I find myself embracing the dark, waiting for it, so I can feel the same peace that seems to descend on this area at sunset. Now, when I look out into the dark street, I feel calm instead of scared. It's like this sparkly, inky blanket has us all wrapped up, and I feel safe, really safe, for the first time in a long time.

They have yet install the much-promised street lights in this neighbourhood, but I find myself wishing that they wouldn't, if only so I can keep looking up and making friends with all those stars.

4 comments:

taqdeer said...

That is indeed a peaceful time of the night/morning. It is when the most Ozone3 gas in present on our level. It has antioxidants and even hightens one's senses. A beautiful time to be awake :)

ps: Boris loves the flies one feeds him ;)

DaydreamSupercollider said...

Hi Jen...it sounds as if you've really found "home" and don't miss the city at all. When my son was little he used to wake up in the dead of night or just before dawn too... rarely would he go back to sleep. These days he's a night owl like Mom and can play music til all hours, like Mom. It sounds as if you've set up home outside the suburbs, where it's really peaceful and serene - that is really great for children. I believe children that grow up in urban centers are more anxious and stressful than those that are raised in the calm outside the city and city suburbs.

Jen said...

You know, it's funny, I was really apprehensive about moving so far out, and there are times I miss being in a more urban setting. I miss being able to take a quick drive to the mall, or having a grocery store around the corner (our closest one is a 15 minute drive!), or being close to museums. My daughter seems really happy out here, though, and I don't worry about her running around outside like I used to. Maybe I'm the one whose less anxious!

auntie barbie said...

I too was a little apprehensive about living in such a rural area. My closest "big" town is 18 miles away, & closest real grocery store about 12 miles. But to get there I don't have to drive congested roads, I get to take country roads, where the scenery changes daily, and considering I have no traffic or stop lights, it doesn't take that long to get there. It's funny to me that you brought this up, because I was just telling my someone the other day that for the first time in a long time I finally feel like I'm home. I'm so glad that you get to experience that feeling too!