With thanks to the Smiths for the lyric (see video below).
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself today. I don't have to go to work.
That's right, I'm not on the schedule today to fill-in for anyone, and it's the first time in eleven days. But it's also the first time in I don't know when that on a day off work, I didn't have to take care of TFYO. She won't be here. She'll be at school.
WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO FREAKIN' DO WITH MY DAY???
This brings home the realization that I've lost my chief excuse for working out now. I always used to say I was too busy taking care of my child to get up and go for a run, or go to the gym. Damn it. Now I'll have to lose weight.
That's right, I'm not on the schedule today to fill-in for anyone, and it's the first time in eleven days. But it's also the first time in I don't know when that on a day off work, I didn't have to take care of TFYO. She won't be here. She'll be at school.
WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO FREAKIN' DO WITH MY DAY???
This brings home the realization that I've lost my chief excuse for working out now. I always used to say I was too busy taking care of my child to get up and go for a run, or go to the gym. Damn it. Now I'll have to lose weight.
I suppose I'll mow and edge the lawn this morning before it gets too hot. Then trim the hedges. Maybe head to the great and powerful Walmart for some groceries.
OH MY DEAR GOD I'M GOING TO BE SO FRICKIN' BORED!
Oh, don't mind that. That's my little inner Type A voice panicking. It's just that I've always been TFYO's caregiver, along with Ray. When I wasn't at work, I was with our child. The few moments that I actually spent alone in the house were when Ray would take her to the store or the mall for an hour.
I'M GOING TO BE ALONE IN THE HOUSE FOR SIX HOURS!
It's okay. I'm going to be okay really. This should have hit me last week, but I was so busy being a part-timer working full time hours that this little crisis is just hitting me now. I'll just have a cup of tea, or maybe two. Maybe three. It's a bit too early for wine. I don't think we have any anyway.
YOU FORGOT TO BUY WINE??!!
9 comments:
Sit down, put your head between your knees and take a deep breath.
Take another one.
You're going to be fine. Really. I had Sasquatch in preschool for four months before Gumby was born and I freaked out the first time I was alone.And I LOVE being alone.
Like you I had been home with a kid for years and didn't know what to do with myself. Can I just tell you that you'll figure it out way faster than you think you will and it's going to be fabulous!
Go to a bookstore. Go anywhere where you want to stay longer than a FYO attention span will let you. Watch a chick flick. Eat your favorite snack that you don't want to share. Don't do chores all day. Do something nice for yourself.
And relax...
You'll get used to it, hell it's just been me and the critters for the last four years (except for the occasional connubial visits).
HAHAHA. Last time you run out of wine. I'm off the next two weeks as our summer sitter ran off to college. Ours don't go off to school until after labor day. While I love the little gumballs to death, I think the next 2 weeks of trying to keep them busy will be taking its toll on my sanity. "Hey, kids!!! Let's all practice folding laundry!!! Winner gets a shiny, new piece of floor-broccoli for a treat!!!)
I, however, have plenty of wine.
I must admit it will be strange being alone in my house for the first time in almost 9 years on my days off. I anticipate very clean closets and a well-used treadmill.
Jen,
Don't worry - this phase will pass. Soon you'll be wondering how you ever coped any other way! When Sprog started school I spent the first couple of mornings sitting by the 'phone, fretting, imagining the worst, wondering if I should just 'drop by' the school to see if everything was OK. But it didn't last. And it makes the time you spend together much, much sweeter - TFYO will be bringing home all sorts of new discoveries for you to marvel at. Go drink wine, eat cake, pick your nose and fart - and luxuriate in your aloneness!
Mya x
Jen,
Embrace it - I love being alone. But not for ever. Now and then. I've just got back from the Auvergne, leaving my wife and kids with The Outlaws. A whole week to myself. And that's usually enough as I then start to miss them.
Anyway, I've just read all your past posts and so am now up to date.
So, many thanks for the award. I'm touched and shall proudly display it with the others! (Too many? Can you win too many Oscars or Wimbledons or Pulitzers? I don't think so!)
Jen, RC and Mya have said it all I think.
You will be fine.
Have a little fun, paint your toe nails and make room for lots of sticky pictures.
Thank you all for the support!
It's been an absolutely wonderful day. I did mow the lawn, but it's the only chore I undertook. I took a lovely long bath, and went out to eat lunch with my husband, wearing grown up clothes. The best part about all of this, I think, is that with TFYO in school, I'll get to spend some time with Ray alone again. At least for an hour or two. I can't wait for Wednesday now!
Diana Thanks for popping by here! And you're right, abut the treadmill. I have an elliptical trainer in my bedroom that almost glares reproachfully at my whenever I walk by. It will get used I think.
Trust the day has become better? Never listen to the Smiths when you are feeling on the edge. I learned that a long time ago.
Any blog post that has The Smiths in video form is brilliant.
You and Ray have some time...
wait for it...
TO YOURSELVES??? Wow. I think the last time that happened was in May, wasn't it?
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